A man has listed his girlfriend for sale on eBay claiming she is ‘showing signs of wear’ has seen her value shoot up to £70,000.
Dale Leeks, 34, had been horsing around with partner Kelly Greaves, 37, in a riding shop when she whipped him across the bum, wounding his pride – and his rump.
To get his own back, Mr Leeks, from Colchester, Essex, posted an advert on the online auction site in which he listed poor his Ms Greaves’ condition as ‘for parts or not working’.
Comparing his partner of almost a year to an old banger, Mr Leeks’ listing warned there was a ‘constant whining noise’, with ‘no serious damage but you can see she’s been used’.
He listed the bodywork as ‘fairly tidy but close up shows signs of wear’ before admitting that ‘the rear ends leaks a bit but nothing that can’t be plugged’.
The listing quickly gained traction and racked up 81,00 views in 24 hours – attracting more than 100 bids to reach £70,200.
Mr Leeks was inundated with hundreds of messages from potential buyers asking if they could ‘ take her for a test drive’ or how many ‘previous owners’ she has had.
But just 24 hours after being uploaded, eBay had removed the popular listing and informed Mr Leeks it was on the grounds that ‘human body parts and remains’ were banned.
Mr Leeks, who races motorbikes and owns a landscape gardening company, said: ‘After I put it on eBay I just kept laughing about it and she asked what I was laughing about.
‘I told her I’d put her up for sale on eBay and was like “gotcha”.
‘At first she thought no one would see it and thought it didn’t matter.
‘But we went out for dinner that evening and I was being bombarded by messages from all over Europe, and places as far away as America and Australia.
‘I kept looking over the table at her but I wasn’t really telling her the scale it had gone.
‘The first few bids and messages on eBay were from friends who had seen that I’d done it and gone and bid on her.
‘But from there it just majorly spiralled out of control. The bids started going mad.
‘I was like “wow, what have I done?”.’
Despite finding her own partner listing her on eBay, Ms Greaves took the shock surprisingly well – and Mr Leeks said she was pleased to see the bids start racking up.
Mr Leeks was inundated with hundreds of messages from ‘interested’ buyers on the auction site, many asking questions laced with innuendo.
One asked if they could ‘come and have a test drive’.
Another wrote: ‘I’m fairly interested in putting a bid in. Can you tell me how many previous owners she has had? Also, what’s her service history like?’
One buyer questioned why there was only one picture of the couple and was he ‘hiding anything’ – followed by ‘does she smoke when she’s being revved hard?’
However the fun was soon ended when eBay removed the item only 24 hours into the seven day listing.
Mr Leeks said: ‘I don’t know how high it could have gone if it wasn’t taken down. I was hoping it might have gone into the millions.
‘Kelly turned round and said to me ‘so what price would you actually have sold me for? Would you have been upset if someone actually bought me?”
‘I said I would have been upset but I would have been crying in either a Lamborghini or a Ferrari, which makes it a whole lot better.
‘She was less impressed that I had done it at first. But as it went along she said she wondered how much she was going to go for and said she was actually quite happy that I was selling her.
‘She said if the new owner had that kind of money then she was going to have a better quality of life. So it could have backfired.
‘Something I should say is I wouldn’t sell her and love her to bits..’
Mr Leeks, an extreme sport fanatic who enjoys base jumping and skydiving, said: ‘The listing was a wind up as she had annoyed me earlier and I’d vowed to get her back.
‘Kelly had hit me with a horse whip in a shop. I had tapped her with a tiny one on the bum a few times to try to get a reaction.
‘But when I got no reaction I put the horse whip down and turned and walked off. But she got one of the massive ones that cracks when it whips and did me across the back with it.
‘She properly got me with it so it hurt. But we do [jokes]like this on each other. We’re always having a laugh.
‘We had a lot of funny messages on eBay from people but some of the messages I found the funniest you probably couldn’t repeat.
‘But there was lots of funny stuff like how many miles she had on her, how many previous owners, all of that sort of stuff.
‘At one point I was getting a message every 30 seconds. I received hundreds of messages.
‘I haven’t been kicked off eBay thankfully.’
eBay were contacted for comment.