Wardy’s Wagers: Blondes have more fun when it comes to Bonking Boris

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THE nation has been gripped by a drama featuring politics, sex and intrigue.

No, not BBC TV’s Bodyguard – I’m talking about Boris Johnson’s love life.

They say blondes have more fun – and that certainly seems true when it comes to bonking Boris.

His messed-up mop always gives the impression he has just got out of bed.

And with his mattresshopping antics laid bare once again, that could well be true.

boris

LEON NEAL/GETTY

TOTALLY BONKERS: Johnson
(Pic: LEON NEAL/GETTY)

Any bed except his wife’s it would seem. After a dalliance with aide Carrie Symonds, he has been ditched by missus Marina Wheeler.

The Brexit-loving cad is about to learn the benefi ts of being in the single market.

He better not ask his boss Theresa May for advice on his upcoming divorce.

Left to May to handle the split, Boris will end up with a huge settlement bill and still be married.

Calamity May has been busy trying to convince Boris and others to get on board with a “no deal” Brexit. Deal or no deal?

Am I the only one to wonder whether Noel Edmonds could be the best man for this job? Or they could ask Burnley boss Sean Dyche.

He managed to lead his team out of Europe in no time. Despite Boris’s antics, bookies reckon he’s the best bet to be the next Prime Minister.

I reckon there is more chance of Salisbury becoming a mini-break hotspot for burly Russian men.

But it’s worth putting a few pennies on former TV diving show star Penny Mordaunt to make a Splash at the next election. 

BETTING (Sky Bet) Next PM – Boris Johnson 9-2 Jeremy Corbyn 5-1 Jacob Rees-Mogg 7-1 Michael Gove 7-1 Sajid Javid 8-1 Jeremy Hunt 10-1, Penny Mordaunt 33-1

Yet Mour trouble…

There’s been an accusation of someone throwing rubbish on to the pitch at Man Utd.

A Mr Mourinho is due in court in the morning.

United are at Watford today and I reckon the highflying Hornets could snatch a win.

BETTING (Coral) – Watford 3-1 Draw 5-2 Man Utd 10-11.

My girlfriend insisted I put the cat out but I couldn’t find the fire extinguisher.

Danny John Jules, Red Dwarf’s Cat, is being backed to win Strictly (BETWAY) 7-1.

So bad-tempered 

I wonder if Serena Williams’ meltdown in the US Open final will see her lose her lucrative mattress contract.

It would be the second time in a week she’d have lost her tempur.

I reckon she’ll be back to her best and is a shoo-in to win Wimbledon next year – (William Hill) 4-1.

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