Dancing on Ice and Happy Mondays star Bez says, “I’m going to Step On wearing a melon helmet and skating.”

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Dancing on Ice and Happy Mondays star Bez says, “I’m going to Step On wearing a melon helmet and skating.”

Bez is terrified of falling flat on his maracas when he tries to make a move on TV’s Dancing On Ice. He rose to fame by dancing with the Happy Mondays, but he is terrified of falling flat on his maracas when he tries to make a move on the show.

The Nineties icon has been so accident-prone in training that he will be the first contestant to debut wearing a HELMET on Sunday night.

But Bez is making the most of the situation with a melon-shaped helmet, a reference to the Happy Mondays’ lyric “You’re twistin’ my melon, man,” from Step On, to which Bez will perform.

On the ice, the 57-year-old dancer and 2005 Celebrity Big Brother winner admits to being “absolutely rubbish.”

“I feel such a… but I understand why they want me to wear it,” he said.

It wouldn’t do to be seen on live TV with a splattered head all over the screen after falling so many times and hitting my head on the ice.

“My head has been crashing almost every time I get on the ice — in sideways crashes, backwards crashes, and forwards crashes.”

And I think they’re a little worried that if I smack my head on the ice, I’ll hurt myself.”

Bez has spent weeks training with skate partner Angela Egan, 34, and has done everything he can to show he’s ready to take to the ice when the show returns this weekend.

But, after a series of bad falls, including one where he slammed into the ice so hard that his helmet flew off, he has no choice but to make the best of a bad situation.

“I was hoping to get good enough not to wear my helmet,” Bez, real name Mark Berry, said.

They did, however, provide me with a melon helmet to wear.

Seeing me skate around with that on should be quite amusing.

“Better that than a watermelon that has been badly squashed, with blood and gore all over it.”

I don’t think that would go over well on live television, and I don’t want to give too much away, but there will undoubtedly be maracas involved.

On my first dance, I’m bringing out all the stops.

“I’ve had some spectacular falls,” says the author.

Every type of pad imaginable is worn by me.

I’m wearing a helmet, elbow, knee, and wrist guards.

I also have a new pad for the bottom of my back.

But I always find a new spot to fall when I don’t have a pad.”

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Thankfully, Bez has stayed away from…

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I’m hoping — this is my biggest wish — that I can stay on my feet for one minute and 30 seconds and finish my routine.

Bez

I’ve actually been dreaming a lot. One of the things I dream about is gliding across the ice really gracefully, on one leg, backwards. Angela’s very patient with me.

Bez

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