My husband and I have a secret code for dealing with the kids: we never fight, and our seven-year-old is allowed to stay up all night.
A WOMAN has revealed how she and her husband communicate with each other while parenting using a secret code.
Caroline Hardin, who is believed to be from the United States, revealed how she and her partner use the ‘YCYC’ parenting technique in a TikTok video that has received over 900,000 views.
Caroline was asked in the video by a user to explain what “YCYC” was and how parents use it in their daily lives.
Caroline explained in a comment that YCYC stands for “your choice, your consequence.”
She described some scenarios in the video in which she and her partner use their secret code to give their child autonomy and allow them to learn from their mistakes with natural consequences.
“I don’t mind if my kid wants to stay up all night,” she said.
“I don’t give a damn.
“In that case, the result would be my loss of free time, which she (Caroline’s daughter) does not own, so she is unable to make that decision.”
“If she wants to, she can stay up all night in her room.”
“She has a flashlight and reads for as long as she wants,” she continued.
“It doesn’t matter if it takes two minutes or twenty.
She explained that she and her husband use YCYC because one of them doesn’t want to take responsibility for what happens next and neither of them wants to argue about it.
The couple will signal ‘YCYC’ with their hands behind her back to ensure that her child doesn’t feel responsible for her parents’ disagreement.
That means the other person has the option of either dropping it or taking it on.
Caroline also stressed the importance of the decision-maker’s ability to accept, deal with, and afford the consequences.
Another example she gave of how she used YCYC was when her daughter learned that eating too much sugar could give her a stomach ache, and she believes that the natural consequences of getting one will motivate her daughter to eat less.
Caroline’s parenting tip was well-received by users because it not only teaches children about the consequences of their actions but also helps them avoid arguments with their partners.
“This is smart,” one user said, “because most of my decisions as a kid were structured around avoiding my mother’s wrath, rather than having natural consequences.”
“This is what I refer to as ‘picking my battles.'”
“I want them to pay attention to what’s really important,” one mother wrote.
“This is incredible, and I’m stoked to hear more about it,” said a third person.
Check out how this mother potty trained her six-month-old son for more parenting tips.
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