An Australian mother-of-two has revealed how her husband cheating on her ultimately ended up saving their marriage.
Caroline*, 37, from Sydney told Whimn that after years of being with her childhood sweetheart Ben*, 37, their relationship had started to become stale.
And then things took a turn for the worse when she found out from a friend that Ben had slept with another woman on a bucks weekend away in Byron Bay, New South Wales.
When he cheated they had been together for 13 years after becoming a couple in Year 12 and having known each other since primary school.
They had lost their virginity together, bought their first apartment when they were both 25 and had a three-year-old son.
‘While our friends were out partying and discovering themselves sexually, we stayed home. We weren’t dull rather sensible. We had each other to have sex with, so it didn’t make sense to be spending a fortune on booze and drugs like our mates,’ she said.
Caroline said the sex between the two of them had never felt exciting, instead it was comfortable and they often fell into a routine.
The 37-year-old revealed it was Ben who would initiate sex and she would often say no, be it because she was too tired or bored of the sex they were having.
Then the arguments about their sex life started and Caroline found herself resisting Ben the more he wanted it.
‘Ben didn’t deny it. He was so distraught at losing us, he apologised, bawling his eyes out. After begging for forgiveness, Ben told me he’d been frustrated by the lack of sex and when offered the opportunity came along, he’d drunkenly taken it,’ she said.
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Caroline kicked him out that same day and he moved into an apartment in a neighbouring suburb.
When she found out he was on Tinder she went on a sexual exploration of her own kind.
She had six ‘lovers’ in the eight months of their separation as the busy mother used that time to explore herself and change her attitude towards sex.
It was at their son’s fourth birthday when things took another turn as Ben and Caroline ended up having passionate sex later that night unlike any kind they had had before.
Soon they agreed to see a psychotherapist together.
Ben admitted he had been embarrassed that he had only been with one woman and that he’d spent years trying to tell Caroline his frustrations in the bedroom, but she just blew him off.
Caroline was able to reveal that their previous sex life hadn’t excited her as Ben would get to penetration before she was ready.
‘It was scary. We both had to come clean about sex during our separation. In some strange ways, it was liberating that both of us got it out of our system,’ she said.
Nearly a year to the day after she found out Ben had cheated they officially got back together.
Although it wasn’t easy and they had to work through resentments and trust issues, they realised they still loved each other and connecting sexually became a higher priority.
Now seven years on and after having a second child it all seems like a distant memory.